Reports all over the television and internet have described how Rev. Al Sharpton and Glenn Beck were accosted and doused in a liquid compound that caused the demagogues to articulate how to deal with the war in Afghanistan, failing schools, rising prison populations, the unabalanced trade deficit, sexual violence, and unemployment. Their ideas have been described as innovative, creative, gutsy, and achievable.
At this point, no one knows what the compound is or who the women were who held the two political activists down and covered them in a thick purple glue-like substance. This much is known: Both men were believed to be stalked in the days before the bold confrontation. Forced to submit to the will of what was reported to be a hoard of stout and hairy females, the men are now resting in seclusion and earnestly thinking about the future of the country, not themselves.
It is now being said that Rev. Sharpton and Mr. Beck shun any kind of rabble rousing or soapbox orating. These days they seem to be interested in calmly debating workable solutions to problems and consider this to be a signifier of true patriotism. The search continues for the anything but lady-like witches and hags who besieged the newly reborn men.