“Children, I said to her. For the first little while, they not exactly human, you don't find?”
Nalo Hopkinson

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Tales From Under A Middle-Aged Colored Woman

Somehow My Name and Blog Has Been Put On A Hard Porn Site.

I wasn't sure if I should talk about this publicly, but if someone did deliberately put my name on this site, they want me to feel afraid and ashamed.  I am tired of people crapping on me.  I have decided to tell my story and maybe it will help someone else out there besides me. 

The site is so sickening I cannot go on it to see how my name is on there.  My son went on and I was so repulsed by what he was exposing himself to, that I made him get off of it.

Also, I am scared that someone could see my name and come after me thinking I am interested in that way of life.  Not to mention what potential employers will think.  Sweet Jesus help me through this one!

The first thing I am going to do is contact the site.  I have a person I suspect to be behind this, but right now I just want to get my name off the site.  Say a prayer for me.  12-9-10
Held my breath, clenched my guts, gritted my teeth, and went on the site. 

I sent them this email:

Somehow my blog and name is attached to your site. I have never been on this site except for today. Please remove my name. I do not want any new adult friends.

This the reply email I received from them.

Dear Member,

Thank you for contacting us.
I have received your email requesting Customer Support. Please send the following information so that I may help you:
* Your handle
* Your password
* The email address used to join adultfriendfinder
* The details of your situation
By sending this information, I will be able to access your account right away and have this situation resolved for you.

If you have any further billing related questions, feel free to contact the Billing Department directly at:
The problem is that I do not have a password, handle or anything else.  If I do, someone stole my identity.

My Reply:

Dear Customer Service,

I do not have an account with you. That is the problem.  This is what comes up:


Why is my name linked up to your website when I have never been on the site except to try and determine how to remove my name?

I am concerned about what potential employers and others will think. Could you please remove my name and blog from this site. I would really appreciate your help.

Thank You,
It may be that someone on that site referred to my blog in some way.  Whatever the case, I need my name off that site asap!

I am disgusted with these crazy people.

It continues.

Dear Member,

Thank you for your email.

We have received your complaint in regards to locating your site handle/photo/name via a search engine. Please understand that these search engines gather information from different public sources (i.e. newspapers, internet, magazines etc.). Because of this, profile information from our site will appear when a search is conducted.

We do understand that you may be concerned about the anonymity of your name.

If you would like your information removed from this or any search engine, you will need to contact the search engine you found your information on.

We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you.

If you have any further billing related questions, feel free to contact the Billing Department directly at:

My Reply:

As I have told you repeatedly, I am and never would be a member of your site. You may find this difficult to believe, but some people are not interested in pornography.  Never address me as a Dear Member again.

If there is an account in my name, it has been put on your site frauduently. Please remove it. I have never been to your site before this disgusting incident. Once again, I say, if there is an account or profile with my name on it, my identity has been stolen. Someone else, not me, put the account on your site. I do not know how to make what I am saying to you any clearer.


Yes, at this point I am losing my temper again.
Then I went to Google and filled out this form.

Web Search › Help articles › Contacting support › My full name or the name of my business appears on an adult content site that's spamming Google's search results

My full name or the name of my business appears on an adult content site that's spamming Google's search results

* Required field

We're sorry you encountered these unexpected results while using Google. Please note that we can only process your request if it fulfills the following three conditions:

•The page contains your full name or the name of your business

•The page contains adult content

•The page is spam because it's violating Google's webmaster quality guidelines

Please be assured that your email will be forwarded to the appropriate team for further investigation. If we can validate your request, we'll remove the page from the search results usually within 10 working days. We appreciate your assistance in maintaining the quality of our search results.
If your removal request does not match this category, please return to the webpage removal request tool and select the appropriate removal type for your request.

Full name or business name (max 50 char): *

Email address: *

URL of Google search results page that shows the adult content site: *

URL of the webpage that shows your name: * Add another URL

The page contains my full name or the name of my business

The page contains adult content

The page is spam because it's violating Google's webmaster quality guidelines

If the page is violating Google's webmaster quality guidelines but doesn't contain your full name or business name, please visit this page.

If you have any questions about how to use this form, please post them in our Help Forum.


It seems that the porn site had my name on it as a result of some kind of spam gathering or sweep of some kind.  I speak about kinky and/or nappy hair on my blog and porn sites degrade the type of hair I love.  This incident has made me more aware of how women of color and all women are used as something to be tore down and humiliated in pornography.  What initially upset me was having my name associated with violence against humanity, but what I want to do now is expose how pornography works.  If it helps one person it will be worth it.

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